5 Ways to Stay Strong & Rebuild From Your Divorce
Divorce is a major life event – even if you are escaping a toxic relationship, you still have to deal with the stress of upending almost every aspect of your life. And there are legal hoops to jump through and financial hurdles to overcome. Divorce isn’t easy.
When you add emotional pain and trauma of a major relationship ending, there’s a lot involved to move forward and rebuild. Thankfully, there are some time-tested ways to help you get through the thick of it and look ahead.
Handling the Emotional Side
Grieving is a natural part of dealing with loss, and regardless of the circumstances, divorce represents the loss of a major part of your life. Part of the grieving process involves a predictable rotation of feelings: sadness, anger, numbness, vulnerability, and denial. It’s helpful to know that grief itself isn’t an emotion, but a process. The first step to healing after an emotional trauma like a divorce is to let that process take its course. Fighting grief, denying your feelings, and distracting yourself from facing reality only delays and lengthens the grieving period.
Coping While Grieving
Unfortunately, life doesn’t stop for us when something traumatic happens. The world keeps spinning and people proceedwith their daily lives. As you emerge from the most difficult moments of your divorce, it’s helpful to know what you can do to benefit yourself in the long run.
Checklist to Balance and Happiness
Prioritize your responsibilities.
Keeping the house clean, paying the bills, dropping the kids off and picking them up, showing up to work. All of these things can seem enormously unimportant and inconsequential when dealing with a major trauma like a divorce. That doesn’t mean they can’t be cared for. Creating a to-do list and checking items off as you complete them can be an effective way to manage your responsibilities during this difficult time. No is a complete sentence. Responsibilities that demand your time and energy that either aren’t a priority or you simply can’t meet can be a freeing experience that helps you avoid getting overwhelmed.
Reclaim your space.
Putting your spouse’s things away as soon as you are able to can make a big difference in how comfortable you feel in your personal space. Storing or disposing of the big mementos and even the small things (their toothbrush, shampoo, pillow, etc.) can help you feel safe and secure in your newfound individuality. It also helps to avoid those unexpected waves of emotion when you spot something that reminds you of them.
Talk it out.
Taking advantage of therapy and group counseling through your insurance or employer can be an effective way to get the support you need during a difficult time. Support groups may also be available through a local church, community center, online groups, etc.
Take care of yourself.
Developing a healthy routine and taking good care of yourself throughout this process is critical to your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Starting an exercise routine and being active can have a huge positive impact on you, and provide you with a clear head to deal with whatever comes your way. You also want to avoid harmful habits, like abusing alcohol or drugs, or engaging in risky behavior like gambling or promiscuous sex to cope with your emotions.
Explore old interests.
Did you have a hobby or interest that fell by the wayside when your relationship took a bigger role in your life? Now’s the perfect time to rekindle old passions or discover new ones.
Little by little, grief subsides and is replaced with acceptance and normalcy. Emotional moments become less part of your daily life, and are replaced by new experiences, moments of inspiration and clarity, and even rediscovering happiness.
